“The journey of being a soul having a human experience is about finding his light and his divinity through his humanity, not in escaping it.” ~ Megyn Blanchard
After 17 years of being a student of “self-love,” “positive psychology,” and “master your mind” teachings, I found myself on the backend of an abusive relationship sifting through the emotional rubble of my heart and my mind, trying to stitch together any remaining self-trust, self-worth, and self-confidence I may have had left.
One morning, just out of the shower, as sheer exhaustion started to set in, I collapsed into one of those gloriously painful, existential moments, fetal, on the bedroom floor.
I kept asking myself “Why don’t I love myself because I thought I did.”
The answer I heard back that day, whether it was divinely downloaded or just time I had to get it right from so many years of doing it wrong was: “You aren’t just an intellectual being with thoughts and a criminal ego, you are an emotional being as well, and you need to feel to heal.”
So I laid there, for about three months, and felt everything my ashamed mind had ever taught me not to feel while practicing radical compassion, curiosity, and self-acceptance –– I was learning how to fall in love with being human.
This would be the beginning of a lifelong, evolving love affair with my most authentic, messy, and vulnerable self. Learning how to show up for and give voice to all parts of me, even the aspects of me that hated me or that I learned were “negative,” or “not real” or less than empowered –– instead of avoiding them, dismissing them, or making them wrong.
Here is the thing, we are all born human, but no one ever teaches us how to be human. There is no Human School we go to for training on how to do this life, duality, contrast, physical dimension thing –– and being human is hard.
Most of us spend our time here learning how to avoid our humanness. We learn how to move from our heads and away from our hearts. We are given messages from a very early age that our authentic self, our feelings, our experiences, our imperfections, our lack of –– fill in the blank –– makes us defective or not worthy or not safe.
We spend most of our time here either totally numbed out and locked in the dysfunctional patterns and coping mechanisms of the mind, surviving but not thriving, chasing but not receiving, and existing but not fully living and loving.
Multidimensional human reality is one glorious hodgepodge of magnificent, heartbreaking, heart-opening, messiness and chaos for a reason – to gift us the opportunity to open our hearts in the most impossible and heartbreaking situations – especially with ourselves.
We are relational beings as much as we are eternal beings. Our limited, finite, conditional nature is just as real as our unlimited, infinite, transcendental nature. The Absolute Truth of us is not supposed to negate the Relative Truth of us. In fact, it’s our dual nature that gifts us with experience. We are just as much humans realizing we are souls, as we are souls realizing we are human, learning how to be human.
When we realize that the love of our life is not at the end of some mystical road we must navigate; it’s not at the end of an aisle in a white dress or suit; it’s not at the end of some pursuit or dream; it’s not a secret love, success, empowerment concept found in the latest book or seminar, but that it actually is us – then we welcome the journey back to self, back to wholeness, back to radical, unobstructed, clear, self-acceptance and knowing of all our wounded, tender, dark and disowned parts.
This is your love story. You are the one you’ve been waiting for.